I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
