thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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