...so i touched it.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
