yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
