meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
This girl is more easily done than said...
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
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