you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Even my vagina gasped.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
