Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize
