It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
