therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I will be naked everywhere
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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