Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
