So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
