...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
