No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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