i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
