I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
