His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
