it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
