Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
