Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
