dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
