i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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