so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
