1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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