But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
