Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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