Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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