So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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