True but thats because hes a fetus.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
