I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
