Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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