I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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