Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
