"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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