this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
