is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
