we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
