if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
