did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
