I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize
