Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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