i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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