I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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