I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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