Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
