I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
