I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
