At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
