Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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