I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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