Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
